Behind Falling Water

There's a place wherein lies the ancient thoughts
Behind waters that fall, roaring,
From sides of mountains large as moons,
Etched by time and guarded by a thousand willows

Enter there, should you desire, along the halls
Paved in moss, warm and rich,
Scented of earth and stone and shades of green
The softness bidding welcome to the weary

Further still, yet near enough,
The ladder rungs do grasp
And set thy feet where no one chanced
To go with true and willing heart

There, they wait, wings though flawed, unfurled
The keepers of the secrets deep, entrusted them
From time begotten, or yet perhaps this dawn,
The gift that I left there, for you
And answers held within.

- Rachelle LeCount

O Lovers, Lovers it is time
to set out from the world.
I hear a drum in my soul's ear
coming from the depths of the stars.

~Rumi

What We Could Use

I love the Indigo Girls anyway and I've heard an older version of this song, but I hadn't seen or heard this one.

I absolutely love it. I was very moved. And it's so true.

We sure could use "A Little Good News"

I don't have much to say today actually. The next few days will be fairly busy and filled with last minute Christmas preparations as well as necessary business related to finances and probate court matters.

I just wanted to post some quotes from a book I was skimming this morning.

I hope everyone has a nice day and in case I don't get to say so later.... Merry Christmas.

Love is the vital core of the soul. And of all you see, only love is infinite.
~ Rumi

As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on thing and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.
~ C.S. Lewis

The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, and pride and arrogance. ~ Samuel Butler

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined - to strengthen each other in their labors, to rest on each other in sorrows, to minister to each other in pains, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories.
~ George Eliot

Riders & Victory

Words finally come. Even if incomplete and sparse. Barely formed together, but they come.

I'll probably work on this more at some future point. But this is the natural process. The beginnings. A friend of mine said it is "Automatic Writing"  That might not be totally accurate but, for what it's worth...

Familiar Riders

in the distance
a spotted pony awaits
as familiar riders approach
their forms distant at first
yet closer they draw
the sun warms their skin
across the field of golden blooms
at the foot of lavender mountains
while star dust rains down
he runs beside her as she dances
beneath the rain of stars
yes running and dancing
they come
across the expanse of time
to this place of innocence
all is restored
they meet again
the promised reunion
of the spotted pony
and her riders

© Rachelle LeCount
12/16/2012

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I think I may meet a friend later today and catch up on what's been going on in our lives lately. Her church is performing Messiah. That might be uplifting and get me out of the house for a while. We'll see how the morning goes.

Humility, Grace, Thankfulness

I just don't know what to say about the recent shootings in Connecticut. The lives of 27 more people were cut short. 20 of them innocent young children.

What a wretched world we live in. I feel so badly for the parents and families. To have a child snatched away in such a bloody unnatural way and such evil circimstances. It makes anything I might be going through look pretty minimal. It really makes me think.

Sure, I can talk about love or lost love or emptiness or whatever else, but in the end... wow. I'm just so humbled.

Repeatedly lately the verse has come to mind. I've received cards with the verse on it. I open the bible and there it is. I see it surfing around the internet. I keep 'stumbling' on this verse over and over. It must be significant.

It's all about Love. Love isn't selfish. Not true love. Though I realize we in our temporal flesh aren't capable of perfect Love.  Of course we aren't. The flesh too often gets in the way. Pride, envy, etc, all get in the way.

True love never boasts. It's humble. It "vaunteth not itself." It is not selfish, puffed up or proud. It's is patience and long suffering. Love is like a seed and it should grow and grow. Be watered and nurtured. It spreads. It is contagious. When we love, our ability to love increases. It doesn't diminish. When we ARE loved, likewise, we then are empowered to love in turn. It's better to give than to receive. Greater to love than be loved.

If I keep coming across this verse again and again... yes, I believe I must cling to it. Take it into my heart. Remember it. Live by it, the best I can in, while in this puny human form. 

Love. And love that is full of Grace. That is my goal. In the end, that's all there is. That's all that is worth anything. And I am humbled to have had whatever measure of it I have had in this life.

I could focus on what's lost or gone or passed on or what I can't presently see or hear or feel as readily as I could before. I could focus on childhood pains and losses or people from my past, but what's the point really? I know I was loved. Yet at times I doubted or became afraid. My goal now however is to remember that in whatever measure, large or small, by one or a multitude, I must be humble and thankful for every single drop and morsel.

Yes I was loved. I AM loved. Healed by it, built up by it, chastened by it, wizened by it, made strong and bless through it. I am thankful for love. I am humbled by love. Glorious wondrous love.

Two Trees. Each different from the other, yet both beautiful in my eyes. Both remind me of love and peace.

I'm glad I got them decorated. Having them both to look at brought a little light, and even a little whimsy into my day.

 

Poetry

Since I can't seem to write any of my own (which is probably for the best right now since it would be dark and dark never was favored as much) I'll post one written by my favorite poet, Rumi. I love this one and it feels right for today. I totally get Rumi. His writings are abstract (which is very ME) and they are also quite multifaceted (also very ME).

Who Says Words With My Mouth

All day I think about it,
then at night I say it.
Where did I come from,
and what am I supposed to be doing?
I have no idea.
My soul is from elsewhere,
I'm sure of that,
and I intend to end up there.
This drunkenness
began in some other tavern.
When I get back around
to that place,
I'll be completely sober.
Meanwhile, I'm like a bird
from another continent,
sitting in this aviary.
The day is coming when I fly off,
but who is it now in my ear
who hears my voice?
Who says words with my mouth?
Who looks out with my eyes?
What is the soul?
I cannot stop asking.
If I could taste
one sip of an answer,
I could break out
of this prison for drunks.
I didn't come here of my own accord,
and I can't leave that way.
Whoever brought me here
will have to take me home.
This poetry,
I never know
what I'm going to say.
I don't plan it.
When I'm outside the saying of it,
I get very quiet
and rarely speak at all.

Goals, Sighs, Words and Struggling

I guess my last post was a bit bleak sounding, even with all the talk of love and light. Everything is compounded now and it seems dark around me. I try to reach for the light and hold onto the love. I want to. I'm trying to.

I know I'll have days like that.. like these. I don't like them. I'd rather focus on hope and truth and eternity. 

My life goes. Though True Life isn't this life. I know this is some sort of life however and God has me here, for now. There must be something left to do or some task uncompleted. I have no idea what that is.

How do you take what you've learned about God and love and put it to work in your life, when it all seems so empty and dark?

I have to remember, it's one day at a time. Perhaps even an hour at a time. That's all I can do. Maybe I'm not supposed to do anything.

But there are voices within... reminders, encouragements and responses to my thoughts. Who knows for sure which are my own and which are God's and which are those of love that remains in my heart?

I want to write. I want to lay my thoughts and feelings out on paper, as I was encouraged to do so many times, but I can't quite get there. These posts illustrate the struggle well enough. There are simply too many things that I am not able to express. So I lay out all these words and sentences.

{sigh}

Today I'll attempt once again to decorate a tree. I have two small ones. One is artificial and has lights already on it. That will be my angel tree. Someone gave me a miniature live tree for my birthday and I'll decorate it with the various odd and end things, bears and hearts and trinkets that I have around here.

As for other goals, two are to be able to watch a movie, beginning to end, and enjoy it. The other is to be able to read a book again. I hear the encouragement and feel the nudging and prompting to do so. I will try. It's important and I understand why. I know it's true.

I am brought full circle. Back to "Who Am I Now"

I dreamed about a raccoon last night. I don't remember anything else, though I wish I did. I'm not remembering dreams well lately. But maybe the dream is a good sign. Someone once called me "the raccoon whisperer"  That makes me smile a little. A slight smile, even if only inwardly, is a nice thing.



 

Unanswered

Some questions must remain unanswered in this lifetime.
While some answers remain unquestioned.
In eternity, I suppose, it will all make sense.

They say it is a fertile void.
Right now I just feel the void.

Still, I must focus on God and the gifts of love He bestowed upon me.
I must recall the lessons of faith and life and truth.

It's all supported and verified by the written word... The word of God.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Meaning upon Meaning

Odd, how things can have such deep meaning and you understand that meaning, even if only in that wordless spirit language, yet something happens or shifts and there is even more meaning than before.

Like a Kaleidoscope, changing form and shape.

Like this song:

Everything In Its Own Time
 
There is no way I can express the meaning(s) or count the number of layers. It's too profound and multifaceted and I'd never do it justice.

On another note (or perhaps, in a way, the same note since I'm speaking of numbers and meanings) tomorrow is 12-12-12, which equals 9. Though the full date, 12-12-2012, equals 11, which equals 2. 

Were you able to follow that? 

But anyway...

Numbers have meaning and spiritual significance. I wonder how many (or sadly how few) see the connections.

For me, the number 9 has always been of special significance. I'm what some would call "a perfect 9" (no perfection of person-hood implied). Also the numbers 12, 11, 8 and 3.

I seeing connections, without even trying. I become aware of them without effort. I see them all around, all the time.

God gave me two words, many years ago: Awareness and Connectedness. In essence the one always leads to the other.

Dedicated...

To a beloved friend.





Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing is not boring—it is peace.

Author Unknown

No Such Thing

There's no such thing as an accident or a mere coincidence.

That's all I can say today.

Flavors, Friends and Love

There are many kinds of love in this world and many types of relationships. Even amongst our friends and family members, each one is unique.

I often liken them to flavors of ice cream. While we may have favorites, it's nice to have a variety. Vanilla with strawberry sauce, pistachio and chocolate with chocolate chunks and marshmallows.

How wondrous that God, who is the author of all love, has created so many different flavors.

I'm not the sort of person to have dozens of close friends, though I have more than dozens of acquaintances. But true friends, for me, are more limited in number. This is mostly a simple matter of my natural born tendencies and preferences. I have fewer relationships but they tend to be deep. While others prefer to have quantity and large numbers of relationships. Neither is wrong, per se.

Of course many, if not most of us, have that one special relationship with a spouse or significant other. But I speak more in general here.

I do have some special friends. One or two I've known all my life. There are a few who were more active and present during some periods and years and not as much during others, but they are always there and usually we can pick up where we left off, as if no time had passed. Some are fairly new friends, and at times people who were only mere acquaintances can suddenly grow closer and more valuable to you, or you to them.

Lately, due to a particularly sad and difficult event in my life, these thoughts and many others have been part of my daily thoughts and ponderings. Relationships, loves, losses, bonds, sharing, caring, God and how He moves through these things, and all the occasional difficulties and boundaries involved in all that... these things have been on my mind a lot. That and faith. Faith in love. Faith in God, as He IS love. Faith in the enduring nature of it. If love never dies then even if a person is not with you, love still lives.

Physicists say that energy never ceases to exist. It can change form but never stops being energy. I think all things are energy or made of vibratory energy, in one way or another. So, yes... Love never ceases to exist. If it's real it is enduring and everlasting.

Well, now I'm 'waxing philosophical' I suppose, but as I move about and am busy with various tasks throughout my day, I think about these things.

I think about the people God brings into our lives. It is my belief that we aren't always aware of just how extensive God's purposes are. We know what someone means to us. Or at least we think we do, even if that, in itself, changes flavors slightly time. Hopefully deepening and growing in it's joys and pleasures. But for the most part I think it is impossible for us to fully comprehend all the reasons God has for bringing various and sundry people into our lives.

Why do our paths cross the paths of others? Spouses, friends, mentors - even those we assume are only in our lives due to birth. Sometimes we may not even like some of those people. Or the relationship goes bad or turns sour or we lose them for one reason or another.

We lose them due to death, or divorce. We lose some due to distance while at the same time it seems distance doesn't impact some of those relationships. We lose people due to misunderstandings or for any number of reasons. And we gain friends and are blessed with new relationships along the way. To me it all seems quite mysterious.

But when we lose someone that we love so very much, it can be more than we are able to bear. God says He will not give us more than we can handle. I confess I have questioned that many times in my life. The 'why' of it all... often unanswered.

I'm sure I'll talk more later about the particular event and loss in my life recently. I haven't mentioned it here, because there are so many thoughts that I'm not sure I can separate them all enough to put it into words that would do the matter justice.

For now... just saying... more later.

Well, probably.

Yet, in closing, I will say, remember that love is always a gift from God. Love in all it's many flavors is something to be thankful for.  Each time I have experienced it, whether for a brief period of time or spread over the course of many years - whether the giver or the receiver or both - anything that is love, is always a gift. Always cherish it and know that it is a gift from God, who is the author of all love. Love is priceless.

To those of you who've sent messages wondering why I haven't posted much lately, thank you for your concern. For those who read and know me best, you already know about my ups and downs and the reason behind them. Thank you for your concerns and thank you also to those who have been so very supportive. True friends are a treasure, as love is a treasure.

A long post for today. It's not my norm. There are things in my mind and questions that weigh heavy on my spirit. But there it is. For what it's worth.

Remember

remember everything i told you
keep it in your heart like a stone
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
all around the table the white haired men have gathered
spilling their sons' blood like table wine
(spilling their sons' blood)
remember everything i told you
everything in its own time
the music whispers you in urgency
hold fast to that languageless connection
a thread of known that was unknown and unseen seen
dangling from inside the fifth direction
(dangling from inside the fifth direction)
boys around the table are mapping out there strategies
kings all of mountains one day dust
a lesson learned a loving god and things in their own time
in nothing more do i trust
we own nothing
nothing is ours
not even love so fierce it burns like baby stars
but this poverty is our greatest gift
(nothing is ours)
the weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift
(the weightlessness as things begin to shift)
remember everything i told you
(remember everything i told you)
keep it in your heart like a stone
(keep it in your heart like a stone)
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
(when the winds have blown things round)
what was once your pain will be your home
everything in its own time
everything in its own time