Unanswered

Some questions must remain unanswered in this lifetime.
While some answers remain unquestioned.
In eternity, I suppose, it will all make sense.

They say it is a fertile void.
Right now I just feel the void.

Still, I must focus on God and the gifts of love He bestowed upon me.
I must recall the lessons of faith and life and truth.

It's all supported and verified by the written word... The word of God.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Meaning upon Meaning

Odd, how things can have such deep meaning and you understand that meaning, even if only in that wordless spirit language, yet something happens or shifts and there is even more meaning than before.

Like a Kaleidoscope, changing form and shape.

Like this song:

Everything In Its Own Time
 
There is no way I can express the meaning(s) or count the number of layers. It's too profound and multifaceted and I'd never do it justice.

On another note (or perhaps, in a way, the same note since I'm speaking of numbers and meanings) tomorrow is 12-12-12, which equals 9. Though the full date, 12-12-2012, equals 11, which equals 2. 

Were you able to follow that? 

But anyway...

Numbers have meaning and spiritual significance. I wonder how many (or sadly how few) see the connections.

For me, the number 9 has always been of special significance. I'm what some would call "a perfect 9" (no perfection of person-hood implied). Also the numbers 12, 11, 8 and 3.

I seeing connections, without even trying. I become aware of them without effort. I see them all around, all the time.

God gave me two words, many years ago: Awareness and Connectedness. In essence the one always leads to the other.

Dedicated...

To a beloved friend.





Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing is not boring—it is peace.

Author Unknown

No Such Thing

There's no such thing as an accident or a mere coincidence.

That's all I can say today.

Flavors, Friends and Love

There are many kinds of love in this world and many types of relationships. Even amongst our friends and family members, each one is unique.

I often liken them to flavors of ice cream. While we may have favorites, it's nice to have a variety. Vanilla with strawberry sauce, pistachio and chocolate with chocolate chunks and marshmallows.

How wondrous that God, who is the author of all love, has created so many different flavors.

I'm not the sort of person to have dozens of close friends, though I have more than dozens of acquaintances. But true friends, for me, are more limited in number. This is mostly a simple matter of my natural born tendencies and preferences. I have fewer relationships but they tend to be deep. While others prefer to have quantity and large numbers of relationships. Neither is wrong, per se.

Of course many, if not most of us, have that one special relationship with a spouse or significant other. But I speak more in general here.

I do have some special friends. One or two I've known all my life. There are a few who were more active and present during some periods and years and not as much during others, but they are always there and usually we can pick up where we left off, as if no time had passed. Some are fairly new friends, and at times people who were only mere acquaintances can suddenly grow closer and more valuable to you, or you to them.

Lately, due to a particularly sad and difficult event in my life, these thoughts and many others have been part of my daily thoughts and ponderings. Relationships, loves, losses, bonds, sharing, caring, God and how He moves through these things, and all the occasional difficulties and boundaries involved in all that... these things have been on my mind a lot. That and faith. Faith in love. Faith in God, as He IS love. Faith in the enduring nature of it. If love never dies then even if a person is not with you, love still lives.

Physicists say that energy never ceases to exist. It can change form but never stops being energy. I think all things are energy or made of vibratory energy, in one way or another. So, yes... Love never ceases to exist. If it's real it is enduring and everlasting.

Well, now I'm 'waxing philosophical' I suppose, but as I move about and am busy with various tasks throughout my day, I think about these things.

I think about the people God brings into our lives. It is my belief that we aren't always aware of just how extensive God's purposes are. We know what someone means to us. Or at least we think we do, even if that, in itself, changes flavors slightly time. Hopefully deepening and growing in it's joys and pleasures. But for the most part I think it is impossible for us to fully comprehend all the reasons God has for bringing various and sundry people into our lives.

Why do our paths cross the paths of others? Spouses, friends, mentors - even those we assume are only in our lives due to birth. Sometimes we may not even like some of those people. Or the relationship goes bad or turns sour or we lose them for one reason or another.

We lose them due to death, or divorce. We lose some due to distance while at the same time it seems distance doesn't impact some of those relationships. We lose people due to misunderstandings or for any number of reasons. And we gain friends and are blessed with new relationships along the way. To me it all seems quite mysterious.

But when we lose someone that we love so very much, it can be more than we are able to bear. God says He will not give us more than we can handle. I confess I have questioned that many times in my life. The 'why' of it all... often unanswered.

I'm sure I'll talk more later about the particular event and loss in my life recently. I haven't mentioned it here, because there are so many thoughts that I'm not sure I can separate them all enough to put it into words that would do the matter justice.

For now... just saying... more later.

Well, probably.

Yet, in closing, I will say, remember that love is always a gift from God. Love in all it's many flavors is something to be thankful for.  Each time I have experienced it, whether for a brief period of time or spread over the course of many years - whether the giver or the receiver or both - anything that is love, is always a gift. Always cherish it and know that it is a gift from God, who is the author of all love. Love is priceless.

To those of you who've sent messages wondering why I haven't posted much lately, thank you for your concern. For those who read and know me best, you already know about my ups and downs and the reason behind them. Thank you for your concerns and thank you also to those who have been so very supportive. True friends are a treasure, as love is a treasure.

A long post for today. It's not my norm. There are things in my mind and questions that weigh heavy on my spirit. But there it is. For what it's worth.

Remember

remember everything i told you
keep it in your heart like a stone
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
all around the table the white haired men have gathered
spilling their sons' blood like table wine
(spilling their sons' blood)
remember everything i told you
everything in its own time
the music whispers you in urgency
hold fast to that languageless connection
a thread of known that was unknown and unseen seen
dangling from inside the fifth direction
(dangling from inside the fifth direction)
boys around the table are mapping out there strategies
kings all of mountains one day dust
a lesson learned a loving god and things in their own time
in nothing more do i trust
we own nothing
nothing is ours
not even love so fierce it burns like baby stars
but this poverty is our greatest gift
(nothing is ours)
the weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift
(the weightlessness as things begin to shift)
remember everything i told you
(remember everything i told you)
keep it in your heart like a stone
(keep it in your heart like a stone)
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
(when the winds have blown things round)
what was once your pain will be your home
everything in its own time
everything in its own time 

Interesting Version

This version of Comfortably Numb is different, by far, from the Pink Floyd version but it gets to me nonetheless. I like it. Perhaps it's the haunting quality of the female vocals.





The original, by Pink Floyd, has always held special meaning for me.

I was reading this morning and came across this verse: "Comfort, comfort my people," says your God. (Isaiah 40:1 NIV)

Now, just how that relates to the above song... well, that's probably not within my ability to put into writing. At least not right now.

Couldn't Drag Me Away

At the shooting range....

Thanks to one of my daughters and her sweetie for getting me out of the house. Everything is so difficult right now. At least for a few hours it was nice to do something other than sit here at the house and mourn.

A tribute to my dear husband who has passed on to the next life.





When I get where I'm going
On the far side off the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm goin
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

Yeah when I get where I'm goin
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm goin
Oh When I get where I'm goin
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
Yeah when I get where I'm going 

---------------------------------

I truly can't address this event - this loss - at this time. It's all too fresh and far too deep.

More Catching Up

I've been so busy reading I've been neglecting my blog.

There's more 'catching up' to do, which hopefully I'll get to some time soon.

We went to Helen, GA, for the opening of Octoberfest and made a trip to Zuzu's Petals Rock Shop where I bought an amazing book and some lovely bloodstone.

More on that soon. Fingers crossed.

Catching Up

It's obvious I've been neglecting my blog lately. That's partially due to the fact that I've been reading a lot. Presently I'm working on the third book in the Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin. It's not quick reading but it's good.

I've also been learning to make birdhouses from a form of paper mache. But not the traditional kind. This is shredded newspaper that's then boiled for about an hour. After it's drained well and cooled I add a mixture of flour, glue, salt and linseed oil.

I'm making them over empty milk cartons (recycling). Once completed, they get 3-4 coats of linseed oil, then are painted and sealed.

Supposedly, they hold up quite well for several years outside. I have my first one hanging outside now as a test. It's rained a couple times. I've checked each time and there's been no noticeable damage or problems of any sort.

I'm adding doors in the back (or in some cases a hinged top) for clean out, as well as drainage and air holes.

So far I enjoy working with this paper pulp. I'm calling it "paper musha" since it's really pretty "mushy" LOL.

Here are pictures of three, in various stages of completion. 

Always

Beautiful song...

Who'll call you baby
When your hair gets grey and your body sags
When your steps get slow and tend to lag behind you
Who'll call you baby
when your children grow and leave the nest
the years you gave them all your best

When the mirror says stop
But the mind says go
And the old eyes shine
And the spirit glows inside you

I'll call you baby
From now until forever more
I'll call you baby

Who'll call you lover
When your soft side yields to passing years
Wisdom grows from all your fears
Who'll call you lover
When you don't feel pain from circumstance
And the things you've seen have built a wall around you

When your arms are weak
But your passion's strong
And you still need love
But you're sick and tired of asking

I'll call you lover
From now until forever more
I'll call you lover

Who'll call you always
When the days go on and the nights are long
Time slips by and all your friends are gone
Who'll call you always
When memories of your younger days
Shine through the curtains like sunrays

When your mind is wise
With your failing eyes
And your wits are sharp
But you seem a bit forgetful

I'll call you always
From now until forever more
I'll call you always.

Freedom!!!

Another Repeat

The Two

when i discovered the two
i could not help but feel the intensity
it was round a campfire
where songs were sung by which i was muted
in awe of these strangers singing my story
the ones who never knew me
yet with unequaled harmony recalled my life
my ears and heart hung on every breath
an awkward moment tossed in
mercy, they said, mercy
it was an unforgiving honesty

i heard behind the tune
i stared into the core of my self
fascinated and fixated i listened
losses and crosses and strange circles
queens and kings mounting stairs
leading to towers and trees by the roadside
on the way to revelations

do you see them
arms open like shutters flung
releasing what would otherwise suffocate
it the motion that lifts
emotions that carry
burning and burying
reaping and keeping
bare feet touch not the ground
clouded and crowded
the internal fight and the flight
they bring it all into focus
yet no one else can see
no one else can hear the same words

i wish i had said it myself
but then i might have missed the point
year upon year
they are always with me
is it they that conform or only myself
or is it merely dictated circumstance
the chance of romance or simply self fulfilling
was it from before or what was to come

and still today i am fixed on the memory
around the fire where bare feet leave traces of light
and i remain mute even now
in wonderment of the ones who never knew me
yet with unequaled harmony could recall my secrets
my heart hang on their breath
mercy, they cried, mercy
it is an unforgiving honesty
that flings open the shutters with a force that shivers
to the depths of my understanding
and i ask, do you see my heart wide open

Rachelle LeCount
11-2011

This Week

For several years, it has been our custom to vacation in Helen Georgia during the week of July 4th. Last year the heat took more of a toll on me than I was willing to admit, even at the time, and we decided to consider moving our regular Helen trip to a cooler time of the year.

Also, we had family visiting from out of town.

The one thing I missed most was visiting Zuzu's Petals Rock Shop.

But I must remind myself that sometimes change is necessary and "to everything there is a season." [Ecclesiastes 3] 

I am behind a bit this month in regard to blogging. I've occupied a good bit of time this last week in word studies and hopefully I'll get around to writing about some of that.

The topics have ranged from the seven declarations made from the cross, to circumcision of the heart, and then some.

More soon. God willing.